Not out loud, necessarily. Usually into Google at around 11pm while staring at a screen full of barbecue accessories, novelty socks and personalised mugs.
What do dads actually want for Father's Day?
It's a surprisingly difficult question to answer because fathers have spent decades perfecting a very specific skill: being almost completely unhelpful when asked. Mention Father's Day and most dads will respond with some variation of "don't get me anything", despite being the same people who can spend forty-five minutes explaining the difference between two nearly identical lawnmowers.
The problem isn't that dads don't want gifts. It's that many of us have spent years buying gifts based on what we think fathers should want, rather than what they actually enjoy.
And those are often two very different things.
If Father's Day gift guides from the last twenty years are to be believed, the average father spends his free time drinking tea from novelty mugs, wearing novelty socks and hanging novelty signs in sheds.
Some probably do.
Most, however, are just normal people who happen to have children and they don't want terrible presents that go straight in the bin on Monday.
The reality is that by the time most men become dads, they've reached a stage of life where they can usually buy the practical things they need for themselves. If they desperately wanted a new set of barbecue tools, chances are they bought them sometime in February after watching a YouTube review that convinced them their existing barbecue tools were no longer fit for purpose.
That's why practical gifting often becomes harder as parents get older. The challenge isn't finding something they need. It's finding something they'll genuinely enjoy.
One of the most interesting things about gift giving is that the gifts people remember are rarely the most expensive ones.
Most of us can remember a great meal, a memorable day out or an unexpected treat long after we've forgotten a generic gift set. That's because the best gifts tend to create a moment rather than simply adding another possession to the house.
Researchers have found that experiences often create greater happiness than material purchases because they become memories, stories and shared moments rather than objects that gradually fade into the background of everyday life.
This doesn't mean every Father's Day gift needs to involve skydiving, race tracks or helicopter lessons. Sometimes the simplest pleasures are the most effective.
A favourite meal. A bottle they've been meaning to try. An afternoon doing absolutely nothing without being asked to fix something.
Or, indeed, a box of exceptional brownies.
After all the surveys, gift guides and Father's Day marketing campaigns, the answer turns out to be surprisingly simple.
Most dads want to feel appreciated.
Not in a grand, emotional movie scene kind of way. Just in the quiet knowledge that somebody has thought about what they would genuinely enjoy.
For some fathers that might be a round of golf. For others it might be a trip to the pub, tickets to a match or a long lunch with family.
For many, it's simply an opportunity to indulge in something they wouldn't normally buy themselves.
That's why the best Father's Day gifts aren't always the biggest, most expensive or most complicated. They're the ones that create a small moment of happiness.
And if that moment happens to involve a spectacularly chocolatey brownie and a cup of coffee enjoyed in peace, there's every chance you've nailed Father's Day.
Feeling Inspired?
The easiest way to catch up on all the latest Bad Brownie gossip. Read our brownie blog now!
